writing

So You Want to Write a Sex Scene

We’ve all been there where we’re neck deep in the middle of a book or story or fic with pretty decent prose and then WHAM. You’re hit in the face with someone’s Meat Thermometer or Throbbing Special Zone, which is fucking ridiculous, honestly.

From the infamous My Immortal on fanfiction.net (which is infamous for tons of reasons) to Fifty Shades of Inaccurate by E.L. James, we see more and more bad sex scenes being written every day. Literary Review has an annual Bad Sex in Fiction Award (this year’s award) for terribly written sex scenes in “an otherwise good novel.” These are all exemplary of the phrase “to breast down boobily” with absolutely no regard to how bodies, minds, and activities actually work. All this to say, I’ve seen better sex scenes from virginal teens than fully grown adults.

Not all of us can be the next Chuck Tingle, and I get that (though it’s incredibly unfortunate). But I will discuss a few ways to make your sex not so… sticky. Slimy. Bad. Flat Out Wrong and Unrealistic.

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